Nothing wrong with taking a day off. Even God needed one.
If it’s not a strict commitment (like your job) where other people keep you accountable, then breaking the chain is problematic. Because it’s much easier to let it slide. It’s much easier to break a chain than to fix one.
A cheat day becomes a cheat weekend which in turn becomes a leftover Monday.
Miss a day at the gym, and before you know it, you haven’t gone in a week.
Creative work? Breaking the chain is death. The mind gets lazy; willpower flies out of the window. The muses don’t show up every day, but you should – if you don’t, then they won’t, for sure.
This may sound harsh. When I was reading “On Writing” by Stephen King – the book I credit with taking me through the writing of my first novel – the great author magnanimously allowed me one day off per week.
I guess that’s not so bad.
The problem with scheduling the day off, though, is that it doesn’t account for the other days off. The days when the kid (or cat!) gets sick. The day when the car breaks down, or the kitchen floods.
Gym. Dieting. Creative work. Learning.
Life gets in the way of all of those.
So what about, instead of scheduling our “day off,” we start saving them for those emergencies?
I don’t believe in the “money doesn’t motivate” mantra. It’s lazy, one-dimensional thinking.
Sure, if we consider a c-suite executive who earns a 7-figure pay-check, has a room entirely dedicated to storing Prada bags and is trying to optimize the time she spends brushing her teeth so she can glance at her kids for an extra minute before leaving home… Then yes, giving this person a 10 to 20 percent raise won’t motivate her. Hell, a 100% raise won’t do it. I’m with you there.
But what about the middle-manager who is busting his chops to put food on the table for both kids while his wife works part-time to be able to afford college? What if that guy is suddenly able to afford to take his wife on a dinner date once a week? How motivating do you think that would be?
Yes, yes. He would get used to it. We get used to the good things fast. The raise that resulted in a palpable quality-of-life improvement soon becomes baseline.
Nothing wrong with raising your employee’s baseline.
I started learning about and practicing meditation a little under a decade ago – that is, if you discount the time I’ve spent as a kid trying to mimic the meditation practice of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I’m not an avid meditator; I’ve been doing it on and off, somethings practicing every day for almost a year, and then stopping for months at a time. I’ve tried several types of meditation, and while I can’t speak about achieving enlightenment, I can generally feel a subjective improvement in the quality of my life when I do it regularly, much like what happens when you practice regular exercising or healthy eating.
All spiritual considerations aside, I feel that I stand on very solid ground when I say that it’s a healthy habit. What follows is a list of points that clear some misconceptions about the practice, and of stuff that I wish someone had told me and ended up having to discover by myself:
You Can Fail At Meditation
“You can’t fail at meditation” is the biggest misconception about the practice. This is a pernicious lie, and you’ve probably read it at least a dozen times if you’ve browsed the web looking about information on how to meditate. There’s a lot of “feel-good,” wishy-washy woo-woo nonsense in the personal development space, and part of that is a taboo on discussing failure.
You can meditate wrong. You can sit and think you are meditating while, in fact, you’re just sitting for 20 minutes stewing in your own thoughts. Learning to meditate is not hard, and virtually anyone can learn it within 5 minutes with the proper guidance, but you still have to learn how to do it, and you can indeed progress and get better at it through experience – this is why we call it a “practice.” If you can’t recognize when you’re doing it wrong, then you can’t course-correct toward improvement.
It’s Not Spiritual Nor Religious
Meditation can be a spiritual practice, but it doesn’t have to be – nor must it be associated with a specific religious tradition. It can be a mere exercise in awareness, a purely mental exercise.
Once, I talked with a friend who felt that if she meditated, she would be sinning against her Christian faith. This is the same as saying that a person must be religious if he or she appreciated the architectural beauty of a church. While meditation is deeply integrated with some eastern religious traditions, a practice such as Vipassana meditation can be taken up in an entirely secular manner.
You Don’t Need To Sit In A Weird, Uncomfortable Position
This is one more misconception to chalk up to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles years. The lotus, or similar cross-legged sitting positions, are cool because the tension on your back and spine help you stay more aware of your body and don’t allow you to fall asleep too easily, but they are entirely optional positions.
You can meditate with as much quality in any sitting position, even on your favorite chair or couch. Theoretically, you can also do it lying down in bed, though in practice this seems to make it harder. Don’t let an uncomfortable position get in the way of your practice.
Having a Practice Group Has Pros And Cons
When I started my practice, it was as part of an online challenge group. It’s nice to have such a group – online or in real life – because you can keep each other accountable to the “do it every day” goal; and it’s helpful to share experiences and insights.
On the other hand, people tend to get competitive in a “my way to do it is the right way,” if not in the “I do it better than you” way. This is not good. While I’ve established above that you can, contrary to popular belief, fail at meditation, it’s up to you to be the judge of your practice. Especially if someone is at more or less the same experience level as you are, they have no business providing directions.
Comparison only leads to a dead-end, in this situation, mainly because most of us lack the vocabulary to adequately describe our meditation experiences.
Guided Meditations Help
Even after nearly a decade, having someone’s voice guiding me through the practice is still very helpful. You can find a lot of 100% free and paid-with-free-trials apps around. It’s fantastic for beginners and useful for people who have tried it on-and-off like me and would like to be more consistent.
Part of what makes meditation a tremendous mental health practice is that it is always available to you anywhere, under any circumstances, so you might think that relying on an app defeats the point. The thing to consider is that you should treat an app as you would treat, let’s say, a Tennis or Chess instructor – when available, you’ll learn and improve your game, and when not available, you can still apply what you learned by yourself.
Meditation Stuff That I Like
(I’m too lazy to set up affiliate links, so I earn no compensation from sharing these. I link to them because I like them.)
App (free for the basics, subscription for the advanced):Waking Up guided meditations – the newest one on the block, I’ve been using it since release, and it’s my favorite yet. Sam strikes a good balance between guiding you, explaining the nuances of the practice, and just leaving you to it, without being intrusive.
Book (free!):Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book – that’s a long title, and it’s a hard read, exactly as it says in the title: hardcore. I guess that’s why I like it? It goes against all that woo-woo nonsense that permeates the internet and goes into minute detail about what a meditation practice should and should not feel like. If you are allergic to religion, don’t let the Buddha and Dharma in the title scare you – there is plenty of practical instruction in the book. It’s FREE!
I started this post off thinking it would be a quick list and ended up going into a lot more detail than I wanted to. Ah well. Hope it was of use to you.